Fire Eric Bruntlett

We will always remember how much you sucked, Beardo.

Archive for the 'off topic' Category

09 July
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An Open Appeal For Sanity

News has spread throughout the interwebs that beloved Philadelphia Phillies playoff hero, kung fu master, and current Seattle Mariners starting pitcher Cliff Lee is on his way to the New York Yankees for Jesus (Montero).  Oh dear god don’t let this happen!  I want to continue rooting for Clifton Phifer Lee in his post-Phillies career and I simply can’t do that if he’s wearing NY on his hat.  I now appeal to the other rumored contenders for Lee that aren’t the Mets to step up their game.

Minnesota Twins

Remember last year when you competed and did pretty well against the Yankees in the playoffs but still couldn’t pull it out?  That sucked didn’t it?  You know who’s really good against the Yankees in the playoffs?  Cliff Lee!  The man was a certified badass in the 2009 World Series and kicked some Yankee ass.  You guys need that.  You’ve got a good team in a great new ballpark, why not make that a great team in a great ballpark!  You’ve also got the best catcher in baseball in Joe Mauer, don’t you want one of the best pitchers in baseball throwing to him?  Get it done Twins.
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14 June
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Operation AVOID

I write this on my week-long family vacation in The Keys, so don’t be surprised if there’s a lack of posts – hell, who am I kidding? I’m supposed to be a vacation, and I’ve already written more with this post than I have in the past month.

Anyway, I figured that I’ve been watching this team lose for the past 3 (? – I’ve totally lose count by now) weeks. Maybe the best thing for my sanity will be to simply not watch them at all for the next week. If they continue to slump, meh, so I missed a week of shitty baseball. Every day the slump continues is all the more likely it’ll be that much closer to ending the next day. If they break out of it, I can say that my withdrawal from them caused it…

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20 May
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Pay Dat Man Heez Mooney

Happy birthday, Jayson Werth! (And, by association, his beard, as well.)

After the jump, John Malkovich has some for Ruben Amaro, RE: Werth’s much-talked about contract negotiations. Malkovich is no outsider in this debate. Many years ago, long before he was a Russian poker star, even before he had a small portal in his head, Malkovich actually got shellacked by Werth in the minors.

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20 March
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Life Imitating Bruntlett

The unassisted triple play is easily the rarest single play in baseball, which is what made Beardo’s all the more amazing, probably the most amazing play I’ve ever seen. The funny thing is, it requires so much luck and so little skill that anyone in the right place at the right time can make one. Of course, that perfectly describes Bruntlett’s UTP. He was only in the game to give starting 2B Chase Utley a day off. Many believe that Utley should have come in to ensure the win late in the game, a belief further supported by one error, plus a mishandling of another ball that allowed a run to score, a 9-7 lead over the Mets with runners on first and second and no outs, Jeff Francoeur at the plate. Brunt’s irony came in the sense that, had he not allowed those runners to reach base, the Mets never would’ve turned on the Hit & Run, and our blog wouldn’t be nearly as epic.

While there have been 15 unassisted triple plays in Major League Baseball history, there are no records of them at lower levels of the game – say, Little League, although when a kid makes one, it’s usually far more fun to watch. Take, for example…


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02 February
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Fire the Bum: Fire Eddie Jordan

Major props go out to the guys over at Liberty Ballers, SB Nation’s Sixers blog, for putting this together…

fire eddie jordanThat’s right, Fire Eddie Jordan shirts. Through the SB Nation store, you can get the tee for $16, the ringer for $17, and the long-sleeve for $20.

Come on, you know you want one! (Steve…)

Now if only we can get them to do something like that for us…

(H/T to @soundofphilly for being on the look-out. Check out his great blog, The Sound of Philly.)

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23 December
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Airing of Grievances Chat Box

Today, as all you fellow Seinfeld-ians may remember, is Festivus. “The holiday for the rest of us,” as Frank Costanza famously said. Festivus is most notably remembered for its Airing of Grievances, among many other traditions. Like Frank, we here at Fire Eric Bruntlett, or at least me, anyway, are also quite bothered by how Christmas is celebrated, or rather, flaunted. There aren’t many things I can’t stand more than annoying carolers or gaudy houses decorated by bright lights that could keep you up for hours at a time better than 10 million pots of coffee. (And yes, Bruntlett is one of the things I can’t stand more.) But that’s probably because I’m Jewish, and naturally dislike Christmas.

Anyway, chief among our Festivus celebrations is the Airing of Grievances. But not necessarily ours. What bothers you about how Christmas – or Hanukkah, or Kwanzaa, or Ramadan, or Festivus, even – is celebrated? What grievances do you have with Bruntlett, or with life, in general? How have your family and friends disappointed you this year? Those are the questions we pose to you this holiday season. And to help you answer those questions, we have a chat box below, where you either answer on the site directly, or via Twitter, if you follow your Tweet with the hashtag “#AiringofGrievances“.

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05 November
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Really Late Stuff: For Your Inspiration – World Series, Game 6

Edit: I tried to write this last minute last night, and get it up if not before the game started, then before it ended. Obviously, that didn’t work, thanks in part to a ton of computer problems, being depressed by the 3rd inning, and general laziness. (Thanks, Joe West!) Pretend that I did post it last night, but you just didn’t get around to reading it until now. There, that makes everyone happy. The bolded parts are what I added. The strikethoughs are what I removed. And, just to let you know, 11 and down were (re)written today.

We realized last week that music is a great way to talk about the Phillies, thanks to Steve’s Phillies Playlist. Well, as I was combing through my iPod earlier today, I realized how many songs can describe the Phillies situation – the team that never gives up down 3-1 in the World Series. So, here goes a little motivational mini-playlist for tonight’s Game 6 from the Bronx. At the same time, I will attempt to give you as much of a game preview as you can when you’re relating the game to music. Expect complete randomness from the music and very long stretches when it comes to connecting them to the game.

1. Queen – We Are the Champions

It only makes sense to start with the song that is most true. As of this writing, the Phillies are were still the World Fucking Champions of Baseball. Don’t believe me? Chase, if you would do the honors, please…

[youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SpscARSTEsU&hl=en&fs=1&]

2. Sisqo – The Thong Song

With Ben Francisco getting the start in left – Raul as the DH – and Steve mysteriously leaving this out of the Phillies Playlist, there’s no reason not to include this song. Have you ever seen anyone so obsessed with the thong?

3. Foo Fighters – My Hero

For Clifton Phifer Lee and Chase Cameron Utley, our heroes. And they most certainly are ordinary.

4. Joe Esposito – You’re the Best Around

This one I dedicate strictly to Utley, the best second-baseman in baseball. THEY’RE NOT EQUAL!!! Plus, anything from The Karate Kid is awesome, right?

5. Bruce Springsteen – Streets of Philadelphia

Here’s hoping for the streets of Philly (particularly Broad St.) to get another parade. Next year? Please???

6. The Cranberries – Ridiculous Thoughts

When us Phils fans said that they could come back from being down 3-1, everyone else said that those were ridiculous thoughts. I pray that they were wrong. They weren’t. Umpires suck. If you’re not going to be good, at least be consistent. None of the home plate umps were either good or consistent.

7. Journey – Don’t Stop Believin’

Never stop believing that the Phillies could win. Ever. Until the season ends, of course. Start never believing again in March.

8. Queen & David Bowie – Under Pressure

In their immortal words: “Under pressure/Causes heart attacks/Putting fans in hospitals/When Brad Lidge closes.”

9. Dave Matthews Band – Seven

The World Series is 7 games for a reason. ‘Cause you gotta win 4 of them. They did. Whatever. I’m over it by now. It’s fine that while other teams were earning championships (some two), the Yankees were busy spending 9 years buying one. And spending $1.6 BILLION to be exact. Plus, A-Fraud finally got his ring!

a-rod_douche_photo

CONGRATZ, A-ROIDZ!!!!!

Also, in case I blog-hibernate for a few weeks/months this winter, can someone make sure to find a way to tell me when he finally proposes to himself?

10. Corey Hart – Never Surrender

“So if you’re lost and on you’re own, you can never surrender! And if your path won’t lead you home, you can never surrender! And when the night is cold and dark, you can see, you can see light! Cause no-one can take away your right to fight and never surrender! Never surrender!”

Plus, he shares the name with a Milwaukee Brewers outfielder, who you can say: “wears his sunglasses at night.”

11. Weezer – I’m Your Daddy

This really should have been Pedro’s official song of the World Series, but Weezer’s new Raditude album didn’t come out until Tuesday. But I would’ve loved, after those dumbass Yankees fans chanted, “Who’s your daddy?” for Pedro to shout back, “I’m your daddy!” (By the way, the album’s $3.99 on Amazon for a limited time. Just sayin’.) Come on, give it up for the Jheri Curl!

12. Dave Matthews – So Damn Lucky

Because we are so damn lucky to be fans of the Fightins now, during this amazing dynasty, in a great position for 2010. (’09 season wrap-ups and early ’10 previews to come in the coming days.)

13. U2 – Beautiful Day

Ya know, Saturday would have been a B-E-A-utiful day for Parade, Part Deux. Eh, hope the Yanks don’t lose their salaries on Wall Street!

14. Dave Matthews Band – Fool To Think

I wish I could say that I was not crazy to think that the Phils could win this series. It’s fine. I loved seeing all the douches wearing Yankee jerseys today, either the ones who never watched an inning of baseball before this World Series, or those who you know for a fact are fans of other teams and are just wearing the gear to really annoy you, or to be a bandwagon-jumper and really annoy you.

15. Vertical Horizon – You’re a God

This one is dedicated to Alex Rodriguez. In all seriousness no seriousness whatsoever, I would like to congratulate him. He sucked for 10 Octobers, admitted to using steroids in the pre-season, sat out the first month, couldn’t get a base hit to save his life, and still got a championship. See, kids? That’s a lesson for ya! You can be an egotistical douchewad and phony of epic proportions, but if at least 0.01% of the world doesn’t hate you, and you’re good at your job for 1 month of your life, you’ll be rewarded very handsomely! That’s why, A-Roid, I say this to you, with help from Vertical Horizon: “You’re a fraud, and I am not, and I just thought that you should know.”

Plus, Tiffani Amber Thiessen, from Beverly Hills 90210 (the original) and Saved By the Bell, is in the music video!

16. Bill Haley & Wheels feat. Tug Haines & T-Pain – Rock Around the Cock

The quintessential Phillies remix.

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19 August
5Comments

Let's play a game…

It’s called “The Devil’s Advocate.” It’s a very simple game to play. I’ll even be The Devil’s Advocate. You don’t have to do much at all to play. All you have to do is read my opinions and give your own in the comments after you are done reading. In this edition of the game, we discuss Brad Lidge and the Phillies’ closer situation.

Basically, you can go to any Phillies or Philly-centric blog and read hate spewed all over Lidge. Read the posts, read the comments, read the hate. Of course, everyone else’s comments are [sic]‘d for highest stupidity.

By the way, the entire idea for this post came after I read the game recap on The Fightins. Of course, I decided to call myself “The Devil’s Advocate,” linking here, because the point of my comment was to question everyone else’s beliefs that we need to find a different closer. (I’ll explain my thoughts shortly.)

Over at The 700 Level, read all comments after 6:58 PM for ridiculous knee-jerk reactions and this piece of commenting gold from a guy calling himself Johnny Nas: “trade him for Smoltz.”

On Phinally Philly, Foley also suggested that he either demote (to the minors or a different bullpen role) or DL. He specifically pointed out, “Not Madson,” and said that Myers could potentially be interesting, but didn’t mention any possible replacements.

The Good Phight echoed Foley’s ideas about what to do with Lidge, but again, didn’t mention who would and would not work in the role.

At Phillies Nation, the commenters are once again sick of The Brad Lidge experiment. The following comment takes the cake for Comment of the Post, and honestly, I only needed to read 5 to decide that: “Admittedly, I haven’t been following the Phil closely this season. So can someone explain to me how a major league closer gets an era over 7 with 43 ip by August? Is he the owner’s son? Is he dating the gm’s daughter? How in the world do you fans put up with this?” Fittingly, the comment was from “dodger fan.” I would call him “not-a-baseball fan,” for apparently not being able to understand how Lidge is still on the roster. It’s called 2008, sir. It wants to know why you don’t remember it.

Carson from We Should Be GM’s wrote a post that wasn’t about Brad Lidge sucking. (Sarcasm very much intended.) But he also expressed a lot of disgust in Rollins’ lack of patience and the Phillies’ sudden and unexpected lack of a bench. I don’t know, maybe he’s just angry.

Crashburn Alley still stands by Madson as our #1 closer option, as of now, with Chan Ho Park as his #2.

In what easily wins the award for “The Most Knee-Jerking By Commenters in a Brad Lidge Post,” Beerleaguer‘s are either the stupidest, the craziest, or the best at hiding their sarcasm.

Finally, to wrap up the “first half,” the linkage of this post, if you will, of this post, Mike on the Phils also said that Lidge can no longer be the closer, but provided a very surprising suggestion: “The Phillies can get by with Jamie Moyer as the 5th starter this season, but they can’t get by with Brad Lidge as the closer.  Give Pedro a shot.”

Now for the part of this post where I actually give my opinions on this topic, after the jump, of course… Read more…

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15 August
7Comments

The world champion Braves???????

Once again FOX has gone overboard with their broadcast.

One misplay by Utley, a double error by Lidge and then a seeing eye single past Rollins, and the FOX announcers act like the Braves won the World Series. “The Braves’ never quit,” was said with rather excitement. All the sudden the Phillies lost all momentum and the Braves are the favorites in the N.L. East. I swear FOX just prays for the Phillies to lose so they don’t have to come there anymore.

I may be wrong. It might be just me, but I am so sick of FOX’s overreaction to Phillies’ losses. Let’s say that ball was grabbed by Rollins and turned into a double play, the FOX announcer would have probably just wrapped up the game with something like, “…and the Phillies have taken the first two games from the Braves. You gotta feel bad for the Braves’ players, they fought so hard today and played so well. Too bad they just got unlucky and lost this one,” or something like that.

Just an added piece of evidence to prove FOX’s disappoval of the Phillies. Whenever the Phillies’ baserunners made some sort of mistake on the basepaths, the announcers were quick to point out how “stupid” the baserunners were and how they were costing runs.

I am truly becoming sick of FOX and their coverage of Philadelphia sports. It’s disgusting how much FOX hates Philadelphia, and I am on the verge of begging FOX to never cover another Phillies game.

12 August
3Comments

Off Topic: Moyer and Martinez

We here at Fire Eric Bruntlett might have a specific goal in mind with our blog, but that doesn’t stop us from having a little variety in our posts.

As many of you are aware, the Phillies have decided to take a risk and have demoted baseball Methuselah Jamie Moyer to the bullpen in favor of the slightly younger Mets washout Pedro Martinez. Martinez has pitched well in the World Baseball Classic and minor leagues this year and Ruben Amaro has stated previously that the Phils signed Martinez to be a starter. J.A. Happ was the logical choice to go the bullpen considering his youth and experience, but he’s been too good as a starter to make that move.

If you had asked me at the beginning of the season if I thought Jamie Moyer would end up relegated to the bullpen I would have slapped you for being stupid. It’s hard to believe it’s actually happened.

Moyer’s been wildly inconsistent this year and it’s been immensely frustrating to watch as a fan. He’ll pitch a 2 hit shutout one night and let up 7 runs the next night he pitches. He has 10 wins but he also has an ERA of 5.47. Perhaps the biggest problem with Moyer has been his inability to pitch against patient teams. Moyer’s got excellent numbers against young, inexperienced teams like the Nationals, Marlins, and Rays. The big problem is that he seems to get annihilated any time he pitches against a team that forces him to throw it over the middle.

That’s not to say that I think Pedro is going to do better. I don’t know what to expect from him. He was garbage his last couple of years with the Mets but he seems rested this year and could be a huge gain for this team for the last month and a half. He’s cheap too, $1 million for a former Cy Young winner who could help guarantee another championship run? Not too shabby.

I’m still extremely bothered by this move. Maybe it’s the fact that Pedro is a former Met. Maybe it’s that Jamie Moyer is the inspirational local boy who returned home to win it all. Pedro is a bit cocky and a media whore. He’s the opposite of Moyer. This feels like media posturing by the Phillies and I don’t like it.

No offense to Jamie Moyer, but I wish he had retired after the Phillies won the World Series. It’s been difficult to watch him struggle this year. He was a key member of last year’s World Series title and now he may not even make it to the playoffs.

P.S. If Ruben Amaro has the balls to demote Jamie Moyer then there’s clearly nothing stopping him from getting rid of Bruntlett! Get it done Ruben!